"What's up, Anton; practicing your bird calls?"
I looked up from my iris. It was Ezra standing over me. "Ya, right," I said, feeling my neck red up. No, carrying a tune wasn't exactly my forte and that American In Paris number was a real tester.
"Hey," Ezra said, "it's Tuesday, your day off. What are you doing on campus?"
"Had to check in on my tree guys." Standing, I pulled my wet hand out of my wet glove, used it to cool one burning cheek, then the other. "But then I noticed my Siberian Iris needed thinning, so I took to doing that."
Though the tree-guy line was accurate, I was working because I had a need to work. Given Coral's orgasm yesterday, my date with Gem today, some therapeutic grounds work was all I was good for.
Ezra pointed at my hand. "Looks like a bird shit on your hand."
I shoved my hand in Ezra's face. "That's paint, Einstein." The paint brought to mind my dad--the paint he always had on his hands from painting his fanciful fishing lures.
"Paint?" Ezra said, "How does a groundskeeper get paint on his hand?"
My dad had another talent; spinning yarns. "You know how it goes; a groundskeeper gets home, looks forward to having dinner with his wallpaper. But then the dead actress on his wall starts in with the back-sass, so he goes out to get himself some new wallpaper."
"Paint, Anton. You're telling a story about paint."
"Oh, ya. Well, see, the groundskeeper can't find no wallpaper store, so, fed up, he goes to the paint store."
Ezra didn't say anything.
"The damnedest thing, Ezra; drove all over looking for a wallpaper store. Have you ever seen one, a wallpaper store?"
"Anton, you're part of Maintenance. You shouldn't have to ask a professor where to get wallpaper."
I didn't say anything.
"You get wallpaper at the paint store, Einstein." Ezra gestured towards Metals. "I see they took out the cedar. Sure looks bare. Hey," he said, walking up the walk, "it's still up there--the widow maker. You didn't forget that, did you?"
Damn, I had forgotten. "No, I didn't forget. It just worked out better for my tree guys to get it today."
Ezra walked down the walk. "Where are your tree guys?"
"Over at The Blue House, dropping the alder trunks. No, Ezra, things will go better today. Yesterday, whew, things went bad left and right. But today is the 30th--a thirty day. Things always go good on a thirty day."
"Maybe for you."
"Bad day, Ezra?"
"You know how it goes; a professor gets up, looks forward to having breakfast with his essay. But then he spills his coffee, and in his haste to clean up, he forgets his essay." Ezra headed towards The Center. "I'll get Twice Removed From Body to you one of these days."
I looked down at my iris. Where was I? Oh, yes; Coral coming, Gem going. Torn, I got down on my wet knees, stiff now after my chat with the professor.
What to whistle? Oh, what to whistle?
"Ya," I said to myself, "and this time, Bing, you might try picking a tune you can actually whistle."
****
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